Self-Care, fuck do we need it.

Hello again! It’s now January 2021 and we have bid farewell to the absolute shit show of a year we have all just been dragged through backwards by our hair.

The New Year always brings about the mantras of ‘New Year, New Me’ and the idea that somehow just because it’s January, everything will somehow be better. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the positivity and respect anyone who can stick to their New Year’s resolutions (I am not one of those people mind) but this year, as with pretty much everything else, I think that things will be drastically different. Especially as we have just been put into a third National Lockdown.

I hope that if last year has taught you anything, it is the importance of self-care. And I don’t just mean sitting down in an evening with a non-COVID face mask and a glass of Gin like I do, but the REAL self-care shit. Looking after your mind, being kind to yourself, understanding your feelings, setting appropriate boundaries, removing toxic people from your life. You know, the life changing stuff that we all seem to put on the back burner.

I started writing this post at the end of last year and seemed to lose all enthusiasm for getting anything down on paper that I felt would matter to anyone. I lost another loved one to suicide and needed to just take some time to get my head right for writing. But that fact alone, really, is enough to keep me on track of writing about mental health and just how fucking important it is.

We live 98% of our lives in our own head. You know that voice that talks to you that I wrote about before in blog post number Three? Make sure it’s a nice one. Say kind things to yourself. Do NOT be your own worst enemy. I can guarantee you, you are far more wonderful than you think or give yourself credit for. 

I intended on writing this as a 2020 wrap up, which would have been nothing more than me trying to roll a massive turd in glitter. For me, as I am sure will be the case for many of you, 2020 was NOT a great year. My parents split after 35 years, I lost two loved ones to suicide, work seemed to dominate most of my life and everything just felt like much more of a struggle than usual due to all of the restrictions that we have been placed under. I am a positive, resilient and glass half full kinda person by nature, so I dealt with the blows as they came and rode the wave. But, and this is a Nikki Minaj size but, this is not an easy thing to do and I’ve spent many years working on coping mechanisms. My heart honestly hurts for everyone out there, you reading this, your loved ones, who have really been struggling mentally with everything that has been going on this past year.

I wish that I could say that things will get easier and that there is an end in sight, but unfortunately that isn’t the case right now. What I can say though is that you really can choose how to react to Lockdown 3.0, how you feel and what you will make of it. I know the feeling all too well (as I approach 30) of losing and wasting time, worrying about the future and feeling like everything is a big pile of shit.

This isn’t the case. Not entirely anyway. Practice self-care. That is what you need to focus on if you feel like everything is all a bit much. Part of that is gratitude. Every day, I literally count my blessings. All the things in life I am thankful for. I’ll list a few of them out and I suggest that you do the same so you can see that you don’t need to be overwhelmed with the negatives. In no particular order, some of them are…

·         My family

·         My amazing friends

·         My health

·         My excellent dog

·         The fact we are past the winter solstice and the light is coming back!

·         Memes 

·         Coffee

·         Food, of any description 

·         Music 

Also, whatever form your self-care comes in, make sure you prioritise it. Whether that is giving yourself a lay in, going for a walk, unfollowing accounts on social media, having a bath, writing, exercising, crafting etc, it is all VITAL stuff. We need connection and we need something that resembles a routine. Make sure that whatever keeps you grounded and brings you happiness features in your weekly routines, especially over the coming months.

I’ve seen lots of information being circulated about mental health, how to cope, how to be kind to yourself and it’s been really good to see that it’s being talked about on a much wider scale.

I’ll finish this one off by saying that you define your own success. You don’t have to be the most productive person in the world, lose loads of weight, get a partner, a new career, house, pet, designer bag or whatever else to be successful. Getting through the days, especially when they are all blurring into one is still a win. Going out for a 20 minute walk when you can’t be arsed to get dressed is still a win. Hell, sometimes just getting out of bed is a win.

Look after yourselves, be kind to yourselves, if you can, look out for others too. We need it.

Thanks for reading, if you made it this far! 

Ona xo